Forgiveness....

[parkerjames]

"I don't want to dream about all the things that never were"

Things had been so crazy these last few weeks. Parker couldn't quite wrap his head around it all. Everyone at Winterthrone had moved to Crestview. Not only that, but he had found out that Fletcher was back around. He had just started to forget about him! What made things worse was the fact that he didn't remember anything. Not a single damn thing!

He walked down the halls of the school with a foggy mind. Nothing was clear and his brown eyes were misty. Parker just didn't know how to handle everything. This was the first time he had left his room besides for classes since the incident. Oh yeah, now he was a wingless angel. What the hell?! Mort really did a number on him this time. He didn't even miss his wings. At least, not at first. Parker was surprised as anyone else that he stood up to Mort the way he did. It came with a dear price.

It didn't hurt anymore when he moved. His back was fully healed and he appeared human now. Not like that was a bad thing because he never used his wings anyway. There felt like there was a piece of him missing now. His heart was breaking many times over. Glancing up, he found himself at the heavy doors of the cathedral. This was the last place he expected to wind up at.

Parker glided into the room with his mind still in a daze. His eyes were focused on the front of the room as he knelt at the alter. Knelt would be a polite way to put it. His legs buckled and he collapsed into heart shattering sobs. Nothing made any sense to him anymore and he wasn't even sure what the point to anything was anymore. "Please, just help me out here. I know you must hate me by now. Look what you've let me go through. This isn't the way I wanted to live my life. I'm so lost. Just give me a sign. That's not too much to ask, is it?"

His shoulders heaved up and down as he cried out to someone, anyone. God was sure to have given up on him by now. Who else was out there to help him? Did anyone even really care? Parker didn't feel he even had the strength anymore to carry on. All he wanted was for someone to wrap their arms around him and hold him tight. He wanted someone to tell him it's alright and that they loved him. Was it too much to ask for a little reassurance or guidance? He ran a hand through his dark hair as he stared up at the ceiling with tear stained cheeks. This was his only hope.

Where was the light.....?

[kaden ferris]

The school was in disarray. Actually, it wasn’t actually even the school anymore. It was simply the student body. There was no school. Not anymore. They were moved to England, to Crestview. Crestview Academy for Girls. That’s right. Kaden was now surrounded by a flock of girls. Most of which hadn’t interacted much with males before. Great. Just fucking great. Some were ecstatic, others were freaked, and the Winterthorne student body was in a jumble. Kaden assumed that the reason they had left the castle back in Germany was because of the murders, but he wasn’t sure, as the staff of the school hadn’t told them why they were leaving. Just that they were and had to pack immediately.

His shoes scuffed the path as he walked along it, drawing his jacket closer to his thin body. Sure, it wasn’t as cold outside as it was back in Germany, back at Winterthorne at Castle Ayalet, but it was still a bit too cool for his southern Italian heritage, where the days were warm and cloudless, for the most part. He wasn’t used to it being too cold. And having such a slender frame sure didn’t help the fact. And a jacket could only help so much.

Paying little attention to where he was going, he concentrated instead on the rock pattern below his feet, kicking a few pebbles every once in a while. He did this while his thoughts wandered around, thinking of everything that had happened recently. Everything that had happened. From the soft, fluff bits that had happened, snuggling with people, just general happiness, to the painful things. The thoughts that made his heart ache, the thoughts that made it seem as if the world was against him every moment, as if the world wanted him to fail in every way imaginable.

A soft sigh escaped from between his lips as he thought of the most painful memory he had at the moment. The moment that he had told Evan....when he had told the boy what he truly thought. His true feelings. And what good came of that? They were just hurled back at him. He knew he didn’t have a chance. He knew it all along. Evan had Xio, so he didn’t need Kaden. He knew he had it coming, but he couldn’t help but fall for his best friend, and Evan had pretty much pressed a confession from him. Kaden blinked as a drop of water hit the ground directly below him. He hadn’t noticed the tear leak from the corner of his dark eye, running down his cheek, and falling from his chin. He had been too preoccupied. He now noticed the wetness on his cheek, and the several other tears that fell, as well.

Another sigh escaped his lips as he shook his head. It would be better if he didn’t think of the fact that he pretty much wasn’t friends with Evan anymore, not until he got over this. But how could you get over love? He shook his head again, and forced himself to not dwell on that topic, for it would only bring about sadness. Well, more sadness than he was currently experiencing.

Kaden looked around. To be honest, he had no earthly idea where he really was. I mean, he knew he was within the Academy grounds, of course, but other than that? No clue at all. He blinked, surprised, to find a rickety old cathedral on his right. Huh, so there really was a cathedral here. Of course, they were told there was one, but in the adventures of going around the grounds, he hadn’t seen it before. Perhaps its decrepit state had caused him to look over it before. But now that he really was looking around, he easily saw it, even in its shabby state.
For some reason or another, Kaden felt the need to go inside. Something pulled him in, and he had no idea what it was. He gently opened the doors, attempting to not let them creak and ruin the silence that such a..holy place seemingly demanded it. However, he had no such luck and a loud creak shot through the silence. Cringing, he shut the door with the same gentle care, but no amount of gentle handling could stop the sound from sounding throughout the room.

With a soft sigh, he turned around and looked about him at the cathedral. For its shabby exterior, the interior was rather nice. Okay, so it was still a little run-down, with chips in the wood, and a few holes in the wood around the edges of the cathedral. But, over all, it was rather nice. Looking forward towards the altar, he noticed a figure crouched there. Shit... he thought worriedly, not caring that he had cursed within a sacred place. I just fucking opened the creaky door and this person is probably disturbed their peace or some shit.... He sighed lightly and took soft steps forward, not wishing to continue to disturb the person’s peace, whilst trying to figure out why he was here.

After a few seconds, he realized the soft sounds that he had heard before were sobs. And they were coming from the person. As he approached the prostrate figure, he realized that he recognized that figure. His eyes widened slightly as he took longer strides forward, his long legs making it to Parker quickly. ”H-hey,” he managed to choke out, his brows furrowed in worry over the boy, the man that was a great friend to him. Kaden sat next to him, putting his arm around Parker’s shoulders as sobs wracked the older boy’s body. ”Hey...it’s alright Parker...whatever it is...you’ll be okay...” He didn’t know what he was talking about. He didn’t know why his good friend was crying. All that he knew was that it hurt him to know that Parker was unhappy, that something was hurting him so much that he was crying. It ached, and it confused Kaden, but he shook it off, focusing his attention to the disheartened male by him, squeezing Parker’s shoulder in comfort. He didn’t know what else to do. He wouldn’t even press to know why he was crying. If Parker wanted Kaden to know, he would tell him. And he was not so rude as to demand such a thing of his friend.

ooc; like I said before..long post....sadness in it....woo...xD

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[parkerjames]

"Baby, you're not even human cause only an angel could be so unusual...."

Parker nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of the door creaking. What was that?! The obvious answer seemed to be someone else had come in to pray. He swallowed and kept his gaze straight ahead and tried to calm himself. How humiliating this was about to be. He half expected someone to start making fun of him right about now.

Silently, he continued to pray, which was rather ironic because he was pretty sure God didn't listen anymore. It was about all he could do other than wait for this stranger to decide whether to stay or go. Parker closed his eyes and counted to three mentally but before he finished he felt an arm around his shoulder. This made him start crying again. Somehow, he knew who it was even before Kaden's familiar voice came through. His eyelids fluttered open and his breathing was shakey.

"I...." That was all that came out of his mouth. He just wanted to fall into his friend's arms and pour his heart out, but he couldn't. Parker found that his lips and body were trembling too much to say much of anything. All he could do was sit there and shake as tears ran down his face. I wish he wasn't seeing me this way. Why exactly am I crying so much about? Something was bothering him more than he was letting on. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly.

Parker took a deep breath and tried to relax a bit more. "Kaden....." He managed to stop sobbing a bit as he carefully gauged his words. "Wha-what are you do-doing h-here?" Kaden was peering down at him with concerned eyes and he knew he must have looked so helpless right now. That wasn't how he wanted to be remembered or seen by anyone. Anyone was better than Asher though. He would rather throw himself off another tall building than be in this state around him, or Mort.

He simply stared up at Kaden and the slightly twitch of a smile could be detected. There was also a faint ray of sunlight in his eyes. Parker couldn't help but cheer up ever so slightly just knowing someone obviously did care. Nobody knew the extent of his problems or his depression. He really wasn't out to be a slut who caused a lot of problems. All he ever wanted was to be happy and help people. Parker just couldn't seem to look in the right places and he picked the wrong things to focus on. He always had good intentions though. Looking up, he wrapped his arms around his friend's waist and silent tears ran down his face. "Oh, Kaden....." Quietly, he stayed there in silence for a few minutes trying to remember the last time he had been this thankful to have someone close.

[kaden ferris]

It still plagued Kaden that he didn’t know why he was in this church, in this place of holiness when he himself was so obviously far from being anything close to holy. He cussed, he drank, he wouldn’t refuse drugs if offered, he liked guys as well as girls, and he had most definitely had sex before marriage. He had killed, although upon accident, and by his killing, he dishonored his father and mother. And he did nothing to change his lifestyle. Hell, he didn’t even want to change it. All this facts piled against him, all sins, according to the Bible. And yet, here he was, in a church. And not even to repent of his sins. There was no good reason for him to be here, and it nagged him that he didn’t know that reason.

It was possible the reason because he had somehow known that somebody was in here. Someone that was hurt. Or maybe that he had just someone known that Parker, of all people, was within the church. It made more sense for the senior to be in here. Although Parker was attracted to guys, he still managed to be a full angel. Although, one might not consider him as such any longer, due to the lack of wings thanks to the bastard demon Mort. However, Parker was, as far as Kaden knew, still an angel. So it was only right to be in the hall of worship.

Kaden watched Parker with sad eyes as the older man looked up at him, little surprise showing in his eyes. He didn’t want to see his friend this way. He hated to see that Parker was hurt in any way. His heart wrenched in sadness to see the tears running down his friend’s cheeks. ”Shhhh...,” he murmured softly, squeezing Parker’s shoulder. Kaden raised his hand shakily and gently brushed the tears from the angel’s cheeks. ”It’s going to be alright Parker...”

Kaden blinked in slight surprise at the question. Of all things, he wasn’t expecting that, that was for sure. He should have. Why the hell was a werewolf with so many sins stacked against him doing in this holy place where people came to talk to God, and put all their troubles upon him. Why the hell was such a troublemaker here? It was a good question. ”I don’t know...I was just about exploring and saw this place, and I thought it looked interesting, so,” he shrugged. ”I came in here, and now here I am.” So perhaps part of it was a little white lie (another sin to stack against him), but he didn’t know the true answer, and that was the best he could come up with. Besides, part of it was true. He had been exploring. He had thought it was interesting. Not because of any looks of the place, but he found it interesting because he was drawn there.

The werewolf felt a small smile tug at the end of his lips as a hint of a smile appeared on Parker’s lips, and a twinkle, a light in his eye that had not been there moments before. Parker was happy just to have Kaden here. Something in his chest flopped slightly in hope. Kaden didn’t know what to think of that feeling, and so simply ignored it, but he felt happier now that his friend felt at least a little bit better. It made him feel good to feel useful, to feel wanted. Someone actually wanted him around for more than just sex or some other such things. It was true that Kaden was a whore. Hey, he was a hormonal teenage boy that just so happened to like sex, what else was new? But that wasn’t the point. He was truly wanted for something, and that made him happy. A light blush rose on Kaden’s cheeks as he felt Parker’s arm wrap around his waist. He cursed himself for his body betraying him as such, not missing the second flop his chest made within a few moments in time. The sophomore wiped away the tears that ran down his companion’s cheeks once more, murmuring soft assurances, telling his friend he’d be all right. After a pause in sound, Kaden hesitantly inquired, ”Are you...okay? Do you want to talk about it or something...?” Chewing his lip, he blushed and looked down. ”I mean, only if you want to...I’m not pressing for you to answer any of that...” He hated it when he made a fool of himself. Oh well, life goes on. Doesn’t it?

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